Opening the door… to all you love

This post about caregiving and caregivers 

I closed the door of my classroom with a familiar click and I felt I was forgetting something but more that I was leaving something behind.

A new life was about to start but not my own… our first child would be born in five weeks. I felt the flutter of little fingers and toes and also of nervous anticipation as I stepped away from my career as a teacher and into the unmapped territory of motherhood.

My heart was torn. I love teaching. In fact, just that year I’d had the honor of being named “Teacher of the Year” for my district. I was running the school newspaper, and the Cross Country team. Professionally, I was just developing as a teacher after five years in the classroom. Hitting my stride, solidifying my teaching style and expertise.

Yet when I shut the door of my classroom the day I started maternity leave… I knew I would not be returning (at least not anytime soon).

I know many mom friends who teach and mother with wonderful style and passion every day. Yet I know myself and how I get very focused. It’s hard for me to divide my attention and do a good job in two spheres.

For me it was a choice I had to make – I could struggle trying to balance work and family, or I could aim my energies at excelling in one endeavor. 

I chose to give up one classroom to become the teacher of the smallest classroom in the world: my boys.

I don’t pretend I was so selfless making this choice – the first year I was home with our son I had to do some real rediscovering of myself in my new world! Ultimately, for me, being my children’s daily caregiver is more important than pursuing my teaching career. It’s a putting aside of what I wanted at the moment and reinvesting my dreams and goals into the lives of these two little boys.

But you know that saying about one door closing? Although I miss teaching, and each September I watch the schoolbus pass with nostalgia and a faint memory of chalkboards and dusty books… I’m eager to teach my children about life, the world, pursuing dreams and finding your passion… the door is just opening for me and our dear boys. All I love… turned out to be right here inside my own doorway…

Caregiving calls on us to be selfless and at our best for the ones we love.

Do you have a tribute or moment to share about a time you put someone else’s needs above your own to care for them? I’d love to hear your story.