Raising a child to become a productive adult is a hard and many-faceted task.
Teaching my baby to say “please,” and “thank you,” will be the easy
part. But what else should children master at a young age?
Here are the top 5 manners I want my children to master by age 5:
- Say please and thank you
- Do not interrupt (I.e. grown-ups / two people talking) unless it is an emergency (I am certain this will be a hard one to teach!)
- Eat properly with utensils and napkin
- Ask permission first
- Don’t name-call
There are other manners I’d love my child to have as well, but they are more complex and will come with time. For instance, interacting with others – when someone says “How are you?” they should answer, then ask the same in return to show concern for others. These skills are more complicated and come with time and practice.
An article by David Lowry, PH.D in Parents magazine (March 2011) lists 25 manners children should master by age 9 (really sorry it is NOT all on one page, but it’s worth clicking through the list, or see if you can make a copy from an issue at your local library). I thought it a fair list.
I especially liked #16: “Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend you are interested. The performers and presenters are doing their best.” That might be a difficult one for children to learn, but I think it is valuable. It’s important to learn that not everything revolves around them and their interests. Listening politely is respectful of the other person’s time and efforts, even if the topic is not of personal interest. Plus, I would point out to my
children what if the shoe was on the other foot – they would want the
audience showing attention if they were performing.
And I wish to add not-walking-between-two-people-talking to this list!
I’m sure every parent’s list differs… What are your top 5 manners for your children, and by what age do you hope they master them?
T Rex Mom
Tuesday 3rd of May 2011
I guess I did not realize how polite my son was until people started mentioning it to me. For example he says, "May I..." not "Can I?" It is just so common place in our home. But he is also great about saying "How are YOU today?" (emphasis on YOU because that's how he says it). And he also will say, "May I take your coat?" or "Please take a seat." My mom says she's never met such a polite child.
And I don't know how we did it, but maybe it's just because we try to always be polite in our home. I just hope we can teach our daughter these things and that our son continues to be our polite little guy. (This by no means indicated he is not a rough and tumble, very busy boy.)
T Rex Mom
Tuesday 3rd of May 2011
I guess I did not realize how polite my son was until people started mentioning it to me. For example he says, "May I..." not "Can I?" It is just so common place in our home. But he is also great about saying "How are YOU today?" (emphasis on YOU because that's how he says it). And he also will say, "May I take your coat?" or "Please take a seat." My mom says she's never met such a polite child.
And I don't know how we did it, but maybe it's just because we try to always be polite in our home. I just hope we can teach our daughter these things and that our son continues to be our polite little guy. (This by no means indicated he is not a rough and tumble, very busy boy.)
Linda R.
Monday 2nd of May 2011
My daughter just turned two and she knows when to say Thank you and your welcome. She also knows how to use her utensils properly. It's hard to teach them stuff especially because they don't sit still long enough, but I've learned that with my daughter the more I repeat stuff to her the more it sticks to her. I'm hoping to start teaching her to say Please and not to interrupt someone when they're talking.
Linda R.
Monday 2nd of May 2011
My daughter just turned two and she knows when to say Thank you and your welcome. She also knows how to use her utensils properly. It's hard to teach them stuff especially because they don't sit still long enough, but I've learned that with my daughter the more I repeat stuff to her the more it sticks to her. I'm hoping to start teaching her to say Please and not to interrupt someone when they're talking.
Sadmom
Sunday 1st of May 2011
I hope my children will learn to respect all living creatures be it a man woman cat or dog. Yesterday something happened which really saddens me. I was at my in laws and my 8 month old was playing with their dog. He was having lots of fun and has always loved the dog. My fil started albeit joking ly teaching him how to kick the dog. He managed to do so and was chuckling away in his baby laugh. I know its meant to be fun but to me it's really not funny at all. In fact I am quite upset.
So respect for life tops my list.