Children are always watching.
They notice when we don’t say thank you, when we are short with someone, when we fume in the car when another drive cuts us off. Everything we do models to our children how they should behave. Or worse, gives them tacit permission to behave as we are behaving (gulp!).
My own flaws in good manners have become increasingly apparent to me since becoming a mom, because I am acutely conscious of my little one watching me.
Like when I sigh in exasperation at a slow moving car in front of me… it’s suddenly occurred to me that if I don’t break that habit, I’ll soon have a little boy sighing when something doesn’t quite go his way either!
I’ve always thought it is never too soon to instill politeness in children. Long before they understand what they are doing and why, we need to model for them. Long before they can speak, children can learn the basics of proper social behavior through what they observe in us.
Modeling good manners can be quite simple. After almost every meal (when we’re not dashing out the door to church or an appointment, that is!), I pick my son up, wrap his arms around my neck and say, “Thanks for breakfast, mommy!” I want him to be grateful that his parents provide for him. I want him to learn to say thank you after a meal. I am saying it for him so he learns this behavior is normal and natural.
I am teaching him sign language (more on that later!) for “please” when he wants something (we’ll be working on “thank you” next). He’s only one, but he already lights up when he signs “please” and gets the item he desired. He can’t talk yet, but he is learning he needs to ask, and not just point and grab and cry for what he wants (which is of course, his first instinct!). Modeling good behavior now means that hopefully when the words come, the behavior will already be ingrained.
What kinds of manners do you explicity model to your children? Do/Did you use sign language for pre-verbal babies?
Crunchy Beach Mama
Friday 8th of April 2011
We are doing signing too and I actually met a mom who teaches it so hopefully I'll be learning even more! He even has his own sign language - he now shakes his head when the answer is no. And believe me, he's always shaking his head! Stubborn child.
But yes manners are important and we are always working on them with all the boys.
Crunchy Beach Mama
Friday 8th of April 2011
We are doing signing too and I actually met a mom who teaches it so hopefully I'll be learning even more! He even has his own sign language - he now shakes his head when the answer is no. And believe me, he's always shaking his head! Stubborn child.
But yes manners are important and we are always working on them with all the boys.
T Rex Mom
Friday 8th of April 2011
We're big on manners. And modeling. We had to have some serious talks with family members with wagging tongues that often speak before thinking about who's listening.
I love that you pick you little one up and remind him to say thank you for his meal. Our guy often reminds us to bless our food if we forget. So I'd say sometimes I learn from him, too.
As far as sign language, we do it with both our kids but with T Rex he was really good at it but did not speak until he was almost 2. Our pediatrician at the time said this was pretty normal because we had been doing so much signing. So don't be surprised if his speaking is not as fast as you expect. But it's alright because he is still developing the speech center of his brain. Sometimes T Rex still signs for what he wants.
With Bebe Sister we have not pushed sign language as much since she's a pretty good talker already and is even starting to learn some Spanish, too. But she still signs for more, please, all done, and milk. It's a lot of fun, I think.
T Rex Mom
Friday 8th of April 2011
We're big on manners. And modeling. We had to have some serious talks with family members with wagging tongues that often speak before thinking about who's listening.
I love that you pick you little one up and remind him to say thank you for his meal. Our guy often reminds us to bless our food if we forget. So I'd say sometimes I learn from him, too.
As far as sign language, we do it with both our kids but with T Rex he was really good at it but did not speak until he was almost 2. Our pediatrician at the time said this was pretty normal because we had been doing so much signing. So don't be surprised if his speaking is not as fast as you expect. But it's alright because he is still developing the speech center of his brain. Sometimes T Rex still signs for what he wants.
With Bebe Sister we have not pushed sign language as much since she's a pretty good talker already and is even starting to learn some Spanish, too. But she still signs for more, please, all done, and milk. It's a lot of fun, I think.
Darcy
Thursday 7th of April 2011
I try to keep my cool and put a smile back on my face when frustrated and see baby girl staring at me. Some growls of frustration I've tried to change into sillytime midway through...which usually results in some giggles.
I am going to be looking more into signing and want to do this with her..I'm just not sure when to start. I read 6-7 months somewhere...