Why We Don't... Participate in Halloween

I don’t love sharing my opinions online. Because some people see it as judgement (it’s not). Others see it as uppity-ness (it’s not). Maybe other people just disagree and get mad (please, don’t). But… lately we’ve been asked a question a lot. So I thought I’d answer… and explore my feelings about the topic through writing (which is, after all the side benefit of blogging!).

We keep getting asked what our baby is going to be for Halloween. The short answer is, “He’s not.” He’s not going to “be” anything but himself. My husband and I do not, for lack of a better term, “celebrate” Halloween. Primarily, because the pagan roots of Halloween run contrary to our religous beliefs. But there are lots of reasons we aren’t keen on this day. Here’s why in no particular order:

Skeletons, ghosts, the dead, the un-dead, witches, vampires… What’s “happy” about Halloween? I want to think about things that are “true, pure and lovely.”
Dismembered hands, bloody skulls, popped out eyeballs – are we desensitizing children? I don’t like looking at all these images all month, and I am not sure it’s healthy for children either.
Mischief. I don’t enjoy seeing my neighbor’s houses “t-p’ed” or egged. I find this to be violent and destructive, not to mention wasteful. I don’t enjoy a day that seems to give people permission to act this way.
“Trick” or treat – I realize it’s meaningless to children today, but it meant something quite awful originally. Look it up sometime. (Side story: I notice some kids don’t even say “Trick or Treat.” Which is bizarre. Kids ring your doorbell and just stand there. Talk about conflict – I don’t like Halloween, but kids expect to get candy without asking… seems kind of rude. Typically older kids do this, which I find odd.).
Which leads to: Accepting candy from strangers? There’s some mixed messages here.
Candy scares: terrible people putting terrible things in candy – even if it’s urban legend – who wants to take that chance? We would end up throwing the candy out. More waste.
I’m not keen on celebrating anything that has the spider as a mascot. Ick.

There are a few by-products of Halloween that I actually like:

Candy – let’s face it, I have a sweet tooth. It’s awesome to snap up 50% off candy November 1st.
Pumpkins – orange is one of my favorite colors. Which is why I love autumn in New England. Lots of orange. I love seeing all the bright orange pumpkins on doorsteps.
Costumes -Dress up is fun! I think it shows creativity and imagination. Make-believe play is a powerful tool for exercising the mind and developing empathy. I love seeing kids dressed as bumblebees, monkeys, Pippi Longstocking, and other creative garb, the more homemade the better! (no skeletons, dead people, or clowns for that matter – too creepy!).

So that’s my take on Halloween. Maybe it’s not yours. That’s okay. But since people asked, I wanted to explain. Right now, we don’t have to explain ourselves to our baby. But someday, when he sees all the kids in costume, collecting candy – he’ll ask. So it’s important for us as parents to determine right now why we do things. And why we don’t. Because I think when it comes to how we run our life, our kids have a right to know what we’re thinking.

Maybe when our kids are older, instead of trick-or-treating, or staying home on Halloween. we’ll go for a hayride dressed as our favorite literary character, or have a big harvest party to celebrate those good things God gave farmers throughout the year. Or take a hike and pick apples, have a picnic on a hill overlooking the scarlets, fuschias, ochres, rusts, and caramel colors of the season. There are so many light and airy ways to have fun during the fall – I don’t think we’ll “miss” Halloween. For now, I’ll just put this oh-so-cute teddy bear bunting on him and we’ll play outside in the leaves!

What do you do as a family during the fall season? How do you explain to your children why you do or don’t do certain things?

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Janine

Saturday 6th of November 2010

Good luck with that. Honestly, I feel bad for your kid. My cousin went through that and as soon as she turned 18 she began celebrating Halloween and now it's her favorite holiday. The candy part of the holiday isn't the best habit (I always went to houses that gave out toys, jewelry, etc., and you go to homes of neighbors you know so you don't have to worry about tampered-with candy) but Christmas has a lot of unhealthy food associated with it as well. And to be fair, the date Christmas is on was originally Pagan as well.

Lisa

Tuesday 2nd of November 2010

we celebrate despite its origins. we don't do scary/gross costumes but I love the costumes and carving pumpkins and hayrides and apple cider doughnuts. oh and candy!

girlsinwhitedresses

Monday 1st of November 2010

Hi there!I found your post at Mom Bloggers - such a good post; thanks for it! While my 3 girls do trick or treat (and I do practice with them: say trick or treat, take ONE piece of candy, and then say THANK YOU), I'm not into the whole Halloween deal either, for religious reasons. It amazes me/freaks me out a bit that Halloween has become so "big" in terms of decorations. Creepy and very "not me." Your little guy is adorable, by the way!