Keep homeschool cozy in the teen years: 20 Ideas to Try

If you’re feeling a loss of that cozy atmosphere lately, you are not imagining things! It’s the nature of changing seasons. Here’s how you can keep homeschool cozy while still allowing for growth.

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Come September over the past nine years, the boys and I have cuddled up on the couch, surrounded by a mound of fleece blankets, a teetering pile of books, and a cup of coffee slowly cooling somewhere in the mix. 

But this September felt different even as we followed our same routine. And last September, too, I felt a shift in the air. Now, I am beginning to realize it is more than the chill of summer turning to autumn. 

Lately, the three of us sitting on the couch hasn’t felt quite as comfortable. There are too-long legs, and gawky arms poking everywhere, and someone always ends up sprawled on the floor because they need their space. 

We still sit on the couch, but too often I feel the absence of little bodies that once clung to me, hanging on every word from our morning read-aloud book.

Skip to the ideas.

Hyperbole incoming: I have loved every minute of their sweet preschool years. And every day of that phase called the “sweet spot” of elementary years. 

Of course… that is hyperbole, because I know there were days where I was exasperated, irked, and overwhelmed. Days when I thought we would trash the handwriting practice altogether, or switch math programs for the third time, or maybe I had no business homeschooling. 

But… in my rearview mirror, all I recall are the cozy moments. The tea times and read-alouds, the presentation practice, and “Mommy, look what I drew!” voices. 

Maybe it’s this selective memory that highlights how the cozy on our homeschool feels a bit worn off like the fur on the Velveteen Rabbit. But isn’t that when we know… “it’s real”?

How to Keep Homeschool Cozy in the Teen Years

So…I felt all the feels when I saw a Facebook post in a Classical Conversations group sharing a similar sentiment about the loss of cozy in the teen years!

I heard the echo of myself last year when my oldest entered Challenge A. I felt our cozy homeschool disappeared into a RUSH of trying to understand all the new things. Struggling to keep up with six subjects every week vs. the slow roll of family learning, core math and writing. 

Our homeschool that once ended at a leisurely 1:30 now burned the proverbial midnight oil at 5 p.m. and beyond. I felt I was leaving my youngest in the dust as my oldest and I worked on Latin declensions and Expository exordiums.

Our boys are currently 11 and 13, and I miss the slow beauty of those elementary days something fierce! So I read the Facebook post thread with eager eyes, grateful for this community of moms who encourage and vision-cast for those coming behind. 

The post contained wonderful suggestions, several I was already doing in my homeschool! What a relief to realize we often lean naturally towards the right answer!

I was so encouraged and inspired by the reassurances and fresh ideas, I thought I would collect them here. So, credit for this post belongs to the community of CC Challenge moms who graciously responded to the heart call of so many moms. Thank you! Here is what I gleaned. 

Reflect on what you truly miss—and keep it!

The reality is: every homeschool year will feel different from the last. Our children are growing, we are growing, and life is happening all around us. Naturally, no year is the same! So, reflect on the core of what you really miss when it comes to keeping the cozy in your homeschool. 

We can’t shrink our children down to toddlers again, so there is no going back. But, probably there is one element of the cozy younger years you are missing the most. Identify that, and keep it in some small way.

For me, I love our morning time on the couch using our Classical Morning Menus. This simple routine has been an anchor for our family through the years. Now, I might need to create NEW menus for Challenge years once my youngest completes Foundations, but I plan to keep Morning Time intact. 

Tailor your Morning Time

Even though I plan to keep our morning time, it might look different. Here’s a few suggestions from the thread on how to tailor a morning time routine.  

• It might be just a short devotional.
• I might move it to lunch time. 
• Or, there may be a time I find it works better as a closing “Symposium” to the day.

The important thing is to find that one aspect that speaks to your heart, and keep it!

Fight for the routines that matter

One routine we homeschool moms should fight to keep in our day is daily prayer. Prayer can sometimes be regarded as disposable, because “we can pray anytime!” or “We’ll just pray as we go!” But I’ve found even three minutes of quiet (alone!) focused prayer is beneficial before starting my day. (Sometimes I pray before getting out of bed!) 

• Pray for these growing years!
• Pray for patience and encouragement.
• Pray that anxiety and fear would be banished from your homeschool. 

After prayer, get practical. To keep routines in place, you have to take practical steps to fight for them.

Because I love our morning time routine, I need to carve that time out for us. It will be fighting against all the other “must-do’s” that clamor in my head!

I hate to say it, but… I might have to wake up early to maintain our morning routine! Believe me, I don’t want to give this evergreen advice, because I am NOT a morning person. But the reality is I need to get things done early so I can focus on the growing needs of my children’s more intense workload!

Good advice from one of the moms in the FB thread:

• Say no to anything before 3 p.m., so you can stick to your routine. 

I have to work on NOT scheduling morning doctor’s appointments, when possible. because I’ve learned those totally derail our day! 

Adjust your schedule to fit the new routine

So, fight for the routines that truly matter. But be flexible on the others. Last year, we moved a lot of our morning read-aloud books to bedtime reading, or we listen to audiobooks in the car and at lunch. This allowed me to keep my morning time routine, but keep it short. 

• You might have Bible time anchor your lunch. 
• Try “knocking out” 1 easy subject all in one day, so the other days have a bit more breathing room. (Reasoning in Challenge A was good for this, or if your child is a great map-drawer, they probably don’t need to do this every single day). 
• Consider doing light schoolwork in the summer to lighten the load. (Math and Latin are good subjects for this!)
• Use Saturday mornings for a few extra math problems or some reading. 
• Schedule a small amount of work in the evenings, like a “homework” or “extra study” session. 

Find ideas to integrate age/grade levels

• A simple idea is to work together in the same room at least part of the day, so you maintain that sense of closeness.
• Use the oldest student’s book as the read-aloud for the whole family. 
• Do map work as a family – that is an easy win!
• Find a unit study that overlaps multiple students.

One reason we love our annual Bird Study is that I can scale it up or down easily, and we can focus on various aspects each year (Math-graphing, Art-drawing, Science-naming, Language arts-writing and poetry). 

• Do a family subject during lunch. As mentioned before, having Bible time or doing Morning Menus at lunch can be a way to gather everyone for family learning. 
• Play games that cover a range of facts (Math is a great one, as well as Memory work, because Challenge kids still use their Foundations memory work!).
• Host a weekly special lunch or poetry tea time! 

Let go of the One Room Schoolhouse mindset (maybe a little?)

There is a sweetness to this concept. Heads bent over books, youngers watching olders modeling habits of learning, and a merry pot-bellied stove in the middle of the room. But, remember, Laura Ingalls was teaching by age sixteen. That means she did not continue her own learning in a one-room schoolhouse into high school. 

As one mom in the Facebook group said, “Release the idea that you must carry them through high school.” Other moms reminded us that our homeschool is not Instagram (as fond as I am of cozy homeschool-scenes-in-squares!).

It is both a mourning and a rejoicing time

We mourn the early years of homeschool in a way similar to mourning our children’s babyhood.

Earlier, I said I only remember the coziness of the early homeschool years. And someday, I will look back on this season and only remember the richness (that I hope will develop!). 

We can mourn the loss of those chubby tots riveted to our read-aloud voices. Yet we don’t really want them to stay babies–or teens–forever. Our purpose is for them to grow, mature, and flourish. 

Look ahead to the blessing that is about to unfold! This “shift in the air” that so many of us feel, this “sea-change,” is one we should try to welcome as much as we welcomed our baby’s first steps, or those painful teething stages. It is part of the maturing process. It is why you are homeschooling, after all, to bear witness to their fledgling flights happening in our living rooms and at our kitchen tables.

Yes, the studies will be extensive, and the workload will intensify, but the conversations will deepen and become more meaningful. 

The relaxed years we miss will be replaced with the gathering of a rich vintage (to come!). 

Keep homeschool cozy in the midst of awkward transitions!

When my oldest went into Challenge A (7th grade-ish) I felt a sudden sense of “aloneness” that seemed to defy coziness. But as one mom assured us all, “This season can overflow with coziness.”

Kids will develop independence and gain strength from the rigor of these years. It’s a phase that can come with an awkward autonomy in children while they figure it out. We’ll still be learning alongside them the whole time!

So I don’t think the cozy-times have to end entirely. Maybe it just looks different now that our homeschool is growing up. I’m going to keep cultivating the cozy moments where I can. But I’m also going to pray that I can trust, can release this time to allow God to grow my children up in Him, into the mature adults that they were designed to be. 

No matter how it looks or feels, my desire is their Christ-centered maturity!

Still… even adults (and budding young adults!) sometimes like a pair of fuzzy socks and a fleece blanket. So keep those in stock in abundance while your heart adjusts to changing seasons.

And pass the hot cocoa!

Here’s to the memories of these cozy days!