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Loving our boys the way they long to be loved

Yesterday we had a hearts-and-crafty day, digging around the Valentine’s sensory bin, making chocolate candies and cookies out of chocolate scented playdough. A friend of mine commented about all our lovey crafts and joked about how they were going to be well-prepared to be perfect Valentine’s when they were older.

Certainly, my hope is for our boys to learn about God’s love and how to love others. But how will they learn that?

Ioving our boys the way they long to be loved

Oh our little boys, how they long to be loved by us, moms!!


Behind the scrubby faces and under the dirty nails, past the frustration of navigating a sea of LEGO bricks, and the constant asking them to quiet their monkey, dinosaur, and dragon uproar… When we look past the noise of boys: They love, and they want to be loved!

As mothers, we have an amazing ministry opportunity to show love to our boys, to teach them love in a language they will understand. 

Did you know each of us has our own Love Language? This concept is explored in Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages book series (affiliate link). He explores the idea that each of us expresses and receives love in about five different ways.

From my understanding of various learning styles, it makes sense that people would have a variety of ways to understand love: words, touch, gifts, time, action.

When do our love languages begin to be evident?

I’m not sure, but I can tell our boys at ages five and three already favor their own distinct love language.

One of our boys clearly loves physical touch – he snuggles, hugs, holds hands all day long.

Our other son craves quality time – always asking me to play with him, wanting to be by our sides, working with us no matter what we do.

I admit that I didn’t always recognize the boys’ love languages. I knew they had different personalities, but I didn’t see it as their telling me how they longed to be loved.

How can we love our boys in the way they longed to be loved?

With two boys who love and receive love in vastly different ways, I often find myself stretched in opposite directions. Sometimes I’m “touched out” and don’t want more snuggle time. Other days, life is busy, and I have to keep telling my son, “not just yet… we don’t have time for that game today…”

Graciously, God uses people and events in our lives to help us as mothers. Last month, I wrote a guest post for The MOB Society: The Meaning of Walking Alonside Our Boys – intentionally leading them know God’s purpose for their life. I hope you’ll find a blessing for you there…

I didn’t know it, but God was going to use that piece of writing, and this new partnership to help me go deeper. Well, I say I didn’t know, but I suspected this might happen! God always uses our circumstances to teach us!

This month, The MOB Society editors asked us to share our boys’ love languages, and asked us how we intentionally love them in their particular “love language.”

And I thought: I’m always talking about being intentional with our kids – knowing and teaching into their love languages is the perfect tie in!

So…Myself along with the other MOB Society writers – a group of lovely and kind mothers of boys – pooled our collective understanding and experiences in loving our boys. We’re learning from each other… How to find our son’s love languages, how to parent out of love….

It’s a wonderful series… And you can even grab a free printable too!

Do you know your child’s love language?  I invite you to come learn with us… About how our boys long to be loved.

loving our boys how they long to be lovedAffiliate links have been used in this post. I receive a small commission from purchases made after clicking on this link. 

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