Our unique conversation starters

Generations of memories have formed at this very table, for it was my Grandma’s dinner table. I recall hand-crocheted lace cloths covered by thick clear vinyl and barely visible under the dishes heaped high with sausages and meatballs and pasta.

Now it is mine, and often heaped high with children’s spoons and toys and crafts and I hardly dare put a table cloth on because I’m forever wiping up spills.

Each night we gather as a family, which is a gift these busy days, and one I know will pass too swiftly.

Creating good conversation doesn’t happen by magic. I’ve already experienced asking my son what we did at homeschool that day, only to have him say, “Nothing.” (Which when you’re both the teacher and the parent is especially painful!).

It’s only when we reach deep and ask specific open-ended questions we can lean in and unearth those good things we suddenly discover are worth sharing.

Our son actually gave us two unique conversation starters that help us have meaningful (and humorous) discussions.

 The “Copy Me!” and “Sometimes…” Conversation Starters

You know how children love to play copycat? Well, our son is no exception. We discovered he loves when we ask him to copy us. We’ll say, “Copy me!” and he’ll laugh, then mimic anything we say. So we say “Copy me!” and then hold actual conversations with each other, him laughing and copying our conversation the whole time.

That’s not a real conversation, you say? But it is! Because for once my husband and I get a word in edge-wise between his chatter, and he’s learning the pattern of proper conversation by listening and mimicking us. Plus, after he tires of copying us, he usually launches into his own actual conversation.

Another game / conversation starter we use is a storytelling one, we call “Sometimes…” One of us will start out by saying, “Sometimes…?” and pause. Maybe another person at the table will pick up by sharing a story, told as fiction, but really a true happening. And we get to hear how “Sometimes…” he plays fisherman at the children’s museum, or “Sometimes…” he read the story of the baby and his brother, “Sometimes…” we play a spontaneous guessing game.

The stories aren’t especially intricate (he’s three, after all), but they are better than hearing, “Nothing.” after asking what he did all day.

Other open ended conversation starters:

What was your favorite activity today? How will you finish up that {game, building, etc}? What do you want to do tomorrow?

Of course, not every dinner or every conversation will be at its most magical, but our habit of sharing good things from our day gives us more chances at holding onto the gifts in our life.

How do you share what’s good in your family? Do you eat dinner together?